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Yours, Evan Every line of this message can be thrown out. Because anyone whom you contact knows by virtue of you writing to them that a) you liked their profile, b) you liked their photo and c) you’d like a reply. That, my friends, is what separates the most successful online daters from the rest of the pack. In this case, I’ve written them for men replying to women, but the steps are applicable to everyone: Every word of it.

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“With online dating, you generally go first from messaging, to maybe texting and then to actually meeting up in person.” says Bernie Hogan of the Oxford Internet Institute.

“There used to be a stigma but when you get a certain critical mass of people doing it, the social norms shift which is what’s happened over the past four years,” says clinical psychologist Jessamy Hibbert.