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“Someone can have a fantastic date, but when they get an email [from a dating service] with three other matches,” says Maria Avgitidis, dating coach and founder of Agape Match in Midtown, “fear of missing out takes effect.” But it’s important that everyone is up front about dating other people.
“You have to be really clear on what you want,” says Lindsay Chrisler, a professional dating coach based in Hell’s Kitchen. “Everything goes down over text now, especially between millennials,” Manley says.
One of the first times Foltz took the initiative and asked a guy out, it went really well. “It ended up being one of the most romantic experiences of my life.” She believes making the first move gave the man a helpful confidence boost.
“Sometimes guys are afraid, too.” And with the advent of dating apps such as Bumble, which require women to make the first move to avoid online harassment, it’s not only common for women to initiate a date, it’s increasingly expected.
While some might lament the loss of anonymity, Manley adds that this isn’t always such a bad thing.
With time, a no-strings hookup could turn into something more.
“When I was on Tinder, you’d match, chat for 45 minutes, and then she’d be like, ‘Let’s go on a date tomorrow,’” Manley says. It saves you time figuring out if this is the right person.” Forget having a one-night stand and never seeing the person again.
“A week later, maybe you’d be like, ‘I should reach out.’” Gone are the days when dates had to be an elaborate night out at a buzzy restaurant or club.
Now, watching a few episodes of “Westworld” is considered a hot date. “Even if you don’t have sex while you watch, you can finish a show and have something to talk about.” A survey found that millennials are 270 percent more likely than other generations to be turned on if their match watches the same TV show.
Technology and new ideas about sex and gender have dramatically changed the laws of love, from who pays for dinner to how long to wait to call after a date.
“It’s sort of like the Wild West out there,” says Alex Manley, dating and sex editor at Ask Mature adults re-entering the dating scene may find the scene exciting, but they may also find it frustrating as they try to navigate dating etiquette that frequently evolves.