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When Mc Clary refers to boundaries, she's not talking just about the physical boundaries that come with sexual territory. "Emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex," Mc Clary tells Web MD.
To that end, Mc Clary often tells women, "If you value a committed relationship, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to stay emotionally whole?
Sure, she was with Smith for five years and loved him very much, but in the end, that kind of life just wasn’t for her. About 21% of Americans have been in a non-monogamous relationship, 50% say “society is just as well off if people have priorities other than marriage and children,” and 12% are only looking for casual hookups.
These statistics show there’s a demand to be met, and sex-only apps are striving to meet it.
Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say.
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In the first “Sex and the City” movie, Samantha says this about sex: “I can’t color enough. I would use every crayon in my box.” Samantha was never shy about her desires and never really went the traditional route in terms of relationships.
Mc Clary believes all daters should invest the same amount of time conducting these 'self' conversations about personal dating rules as they do primping before a big date.
She also says the conversation, like the primping, should happen at the same time -- before that big date.
"Especially among older people who went through the sexual revolution, with maturity they realize there are emotional consequences for getting involved in a sexual relationship," says Allen, author of Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.