Dating and relating livejournal
Sometimes women will move around a (very) little during sex, but mostly not at all.
The slang term for a woman who lies completely still in bed is maguro (tuna).
Japanese guys are generally more stressed out by sex than western guys and that is because they are responsible for the sex; as the active male, the sex is their burden, they have to do everything, it’s all up to them.
Sex equates not only (sometimes not even primarily) with ‘fun’ or ‘pleasure’, it also equates with ‘work’ and ‘obligation’.
In this case, once I worked out what was going on, I thought all my problems could be solved by a simple conversation or two, explaining the more free-form nature of western sex, and encouraging my partner along the lines of, “You don’t have to act a certain way, you can act however you like! I was inadvertently terrorizing my partner by dropping them into the middle of a scary foreign wilderness and telling them to make do without a map. Me: I was at Seiji’s place hanging out and he randomly told me that I could use his shower if I felt like it. Natsue: *cracks up laughing* Cat, that means he wants to have sex with you! Me: Sorry to bring this up suddenly, but does it weird you out that Andy sometimes initiates sex without showering first? I’m so glad I finally have someone to talk to about this! However, I will try to accommodate you on this because the idea of sex without showering seemed to horrify everyone I talked to right down to their very bones.
This is yet one more thing that men are responsible for as the ‘active’ partner. Direct eye contact is a bit rude in Japan at the best of times. The first time I had sex with a Japanese guy was easily the most bamboozling experience of my entire life.